Thats why, illogically, I decided to compile a list of awesomely BAD pickup lines and crushing replies by women. For future reference and present humour.
(Courtesy of pickuphelp.com, I only took the best of the best coz 90% of this webpage is forgettable.)
The BAD (each worthy of at least one bitchslap)
1. If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
2. Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
3. Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.
4. You're like a prize winning fish... I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.
5. My love for you is like diareah..it never ends! (its diarrhoea, i know)
6. What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
7. He: Is that shirt felt?
She: No
He: Would you like it to be?
8. Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
9. You remind me of cheese... I LIKE cheese.
10. My names mickey are you my minnie? (Now THAT's comedy)
11. You must be good at the flute cause you sure charm my snake.
12. Excuse me... do you speak Klingon? (applauds)
13. I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
14. My leech would like you as a new host.
15. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
16. You'll do.
The Replies
Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather
Girl: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.
He: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
She: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
He: So, wanna go back to my place?
She: I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
He: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
She: It's in the phone book.
He: But I don't know your name.
She: That's in the phone book too.
He: What sign were you born under?
She: No Parking.
He: Hey, baby, What's your sign?
She: Stop.
He: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
She: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine.
He: Haven't we met before?
She: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
These pickups are not bad though.
I noticed you noticing me and I wanted you to know that its notified.
Hi, I'm Will... God's Will.
You are the proof that God has a sense of humor.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your name and number?
And...
Guy: Do you like to dance?
Likely Answers: Yes/ Maybe/ Not with you/ **** Off
Guy: Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your hot friend?
(revenge is sweet)
3 comments:
So, you're a girl huh?
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
Sorry, should have clarified that the last question and answer session was initiated by the guy. I mean come on, what are the odds of a GIRL asking a GUY she's never seen before to dance.
The most dumbass pickup line has to be "Do you have a raisin? (No) How about a date instead?"
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