Its been about 4 years since I blogged about... pretty much anything,
but hey that’s why I named my blog as such. Here's yet another shot at failing.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Why?
Here I'm sitting in my 10ft by 10ft room in dim light and pitch silence under a comforter in warm summer weather thinking about what the hell I should blog about. It all started after I read about a friend in Singapore who got a radio interview from the US for two scientific afterthoughts he had about the new Indiana Jones movie which he mentioned on his blog. But that has nothing to do what I writing about.
I am not writing about the question "Why" itself, which we all know is the one single unanswerable question. I am writing about why... anything. Why go to work? Why study mathematics? Why plan for an uncertain future? Why listen to music? Why play a sport? Why blog? Why do anything? What do we REALLY wanna do? What do I wanna do, really?
Yea yea, we're working to earn money, studying to end up working to earn money. Why money? To pay for what we need and later on, what we want, as per society's standards. Why? Because Maslov's hierarchy said so. At the lowest level humans need food air water, and once the base of the pyramid is fulfilled you start heading towards the vague upper reaches of the pyramid - things like happiness, self-fulfilment, realizing potential. All these encompass human needs and wants. Some have sought it in the Himalayan mountains, some in their financial empires.
But I ask, why? Well asking we need food water etc doesnt make sense, because that leads you to the question of why you need to live. The answer to that simply being, you dont really. Except that complications in terms human relationships and the passing down of your life possessions makes it usually unrecommended. But then we come to a whole host of questions, such as why it makes a difference, really, when your life span is limited to begin with. They say, you cannot and should not die before you accomplish something, without having a second chance.
And here I go back to that original idea about self-fulfillment, potential. So we live, so that we can reach that peak of the pyramid. Thats also why we study, work, in some cases, kiss ass or pass gifts. Its not the money exactly, its what the money gets you. Fulfillment in various forms for various kinds of people, whether it is cars and clothes to gain respect from (in your own eyes, and in those of others), sexual gratification (after all, it is one of the primal urges and driving forces of the human being), or perhaps power and control over the lives of others. Although the last I could never really understand, for what do you do when you have power in your hands. Use it, but how? What would Hitler have done after he had taken over the world and killed every last Jew? What would be left to accomplish, or attain fulfillment from?
There is something inside every human being which seeks fulfillment, and is the underlying reason for every single thing we do. Whether it is eat food to live, eat food for enjoyment, or in some cases, starve - perhaps to lose weight, or perhaps to save money, for other sources of fulfillment. The list can go on, and always always, it is this notion of FULFILLMENT, to feel like you've accomplished something. But... why??
I have no idea, frankly. We live, with the purpose of seeking fulfilment, but we need to have a purpose of seeking fulfillment in the first place in order to live! (or we die as a result of not "feeling" like eating).
So what do I REALLY wanna do, end of the day? I don't know, but I do know I'm gonna end up doing it anyway.
I am not writing about the question "Why" itself, which we all know is the one single unanswerable question. I am writing about why... anything. Why go to work? Why study mathematics? Why plan for an uncertain future? Why listen to music? Why play a sport? Why blog? Why do anything? What do we REALLY wanna do? What do I wanna do, really?
Yea yea, we're working to earn money, studying to end up working to earn money. Why money? To pay for what we need and later on, what we want, as per society's standards. Why? Because Maslov's hierarchy said so. At the lowest level humans need food air water, and once the base of the pyramid is fulfilled you start heading towards the vague upper reaches of the pyramid - things like happiness, self-fulfilment, realizing potential. All these encompass human needs and wants. Some have sought it in the Himalayan mountains, some in their financial empires.
But I ask, why? Well asking we need food water etc doesnt make sense, because that leads you to the question of why you need to live. The answer to that simply being, you dont really. Except that complications in terms human relationships and the passing down of your life possessions makes it usually unrecommended. But then we come to a whole host of questions, such as why it makes a difference, really, when your life span is limited to begin with. They say, you cannot and should not die before you accomplish something, without having a second chance.
And here I go back to that original idea about self-fulfillment, potential. So we live, so that we can reach that peak of the pyramid. Thats also why we study, work, in some cases, kiss ass or pass gifts. Its not the money exactly, its what the money gets you. Fulfillment in various forms for various kinds of people, whether it is cars and clothes to gain respect from (in your own eyes, and in those of others), sexual gratification (after all, it is one of the primal urges and driving forces of the human being), or perhaps power and control over the lives of others. Although the last I could never really understand, for what do you do when you have power in your hands. Use it, but how? What would Hitler have done after he had taken over the world and killed every last Jew? What would be left to accomplish, or attain fulfillment from?
There is something inside every human being which seeks fulfillment, and is the underlying reason for every single thing we do. Whether it is eat food to live, eat food for enjoyment, or in some cases, starve - perhaps to lose weight, or perhaps to save money, for other sources of fulfillment. The list can go on, and always always, it is this notion of FULFILLMENT, to feel like you've accomplished something. But... why??
I have no idea, frankly. We live, with the purpose of seeking fulfilment, but we need to have a purpose of seeking fulfillment in the first place in order to live! (or we die as a result of not "feeling" like eating).
So what do I REALLY wanna do, end of the day? I don't know, but I do know I'm gonna end up doing it anyway.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Globalization
Its been a while eh? I must be one of the most inconsistent bloggers in existence. But Im gonna make an effort ta write more often, reflection and writing about reflections will keep my right brain alive. Okay fine, im gonna try ta make an effort. Or maybe Ill try to do that... It could go on. Do i want to blog or want to want to blog? Secondary desires anyone?
So wait yeah, Im supposed to be talking about globalization. What can I say about it? Its a fact, its happening even as I type this. No, forget about what yer GP or social sciences teacher told. Theres a difference between knowing about globalization and REALIZING its pervasiveness. Just like knowing what death is in the abstract sense and feeling it in your very bones as you see the light above you are two very different things. This is crazy. Ive been to 4 completely distinct and socially, geographically and culturally far-flung countries (India, Singapore, Canada and the USA, ok Canada and US arent that far apart, but they still are, in case ya noobs didn know that) and yet I see people watching Lost, Heroes, listening to Ya Ali, bitching about Dhoom 2, praising Don to the skies, dancing bhangra... Okay this is a very Indo-centric view of things but it just goes to show that it isnt only big bad America pouring out its cultural to the rest of the world. Dunno much about Chinese pop culture but my roommate will attest to its deep roots in North America too. Its also pretty interesting when you realize that people from all over the world say "fuck" freely independently of their mother tongues. And Im talking people from Turkey, Sudan, Ukraine, Kenya and other countries we normally hear about in the news or maybe not even. And yes, nigga is always offensive everywhere, except if a black guy says it to another, in which case it never is. And no, nobody likes Britney Spears or any of the other retards on E News Weekly, the North American equivalent of 8 Days in Singapore, and StarDust in India. See, thats what Im talking about. When does the madness end. EVERYONE knows about Ash's wedding with the Bachchans and half the world is pissed and/or jealous. Damn, the GP tutors were right. Now THATS a scary thought.
And then occassionally, when we're not overwhelmed by the astonishing here and now and the more bizarre future, we might think about the past. All the cultures that were physically and then culturally and financially crushed around the world. Sure, the Red Indians, tribals and aborigines have their own land and whatever but look at one of them straight in the eye and you'll see one thing; defeat. They know theyre a dying breed and either they lose their identity and get with the program or their identity dies with them. But thats progress aint it? Natural progression of the species. Globalization was the next logical step. Who knows whats next?
Too bad Isaac Mendez's dead. He would know what was in store for humanity.
So wait yeah, Im supposed to be talking about globalization. What can I say about it? Its a fact, its happening even as I type this. No, forget about what yer GP or social sciences teacher told. Theres a difference between knowing about globalization and REALIZING its pervasiveness. Just like knowing what death is in the abstract sense and feeling it in your very bones as you see the light above you are two very different things. This is crazy. Ive been to 4 completely distinct and socially, geographically and culturally far-flung countries (India, Singapore, Canada and the USA, ok Canada and US arent that far apart, but they still are, in case ya noobs didn know that) and yet I see people watching Lost, Heroes, listening to Ya Ali, bitching about Dhoom 2, praising Don to the skies, dancing bhangra... Okay this is a very Indo-centric view of things but it just goes to show that it isnt only big bad America pouring out its cultural to the rest of the world. Dunno much about Chinese pop culture but my roommate will attest to its deep roots in North America too. Its also pretty interesting when you realize that people from all over the world say "fuck" freely independently of their mother tongues. And Im talking people from Turkey, Sudan, Ukraine, Kenya and other countries we normally hear about in the news or maybe not even. And yes, nigga is always offensive everywhere, except if a black guy says it to another, in which case it never is. And no, nobody likes Britney Spears or any of the other retards on E News Weekly, the North American equivalent of 8 Days in Singapore, and StarDust in India. See, thats what Im talking about. When does the madness end. EVERYONE knows about Ash's wedding with the Bachchans and half the world is pissed and/or jealous. Damn, the GP tutors were right. Now THATS a scary thought.
And then occassionally, when we're not overwhelmed by the astonishing here and now and the more bizarre future, we might think about the past. All the cultures that were physically and then culturally and financially crushed around the world. Sure, the Red Indians, tribals and aborigines have their own land and whatever but look at one of them straight in the eye and you'll see one thing; defeat. They know theyre a dying breed and either they lose their identity and get with the program or their identity dies with them. But thats progress aint it? Natural progression of the species. Globalization was the next logical step. Who knows whats next?
Too bad Isaac Mendez's dead. He would know what was in store for humanity.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
The maple leaf
Wow i actually got around to doing this. Now. In someone elses house. On someone ELSES computer. When i should be studying. But thats exactly how spontaneity works.
SO where do i start. Ill start with something as mundane as the weather. Apart from the fact that the temperature fluctuates by an average of 25C every single day, at least, and apart from the fact that wind chill instantaneously drops the temp by a further 10C, and apart from the fact you reeeally dont wanna get caught in the rain in this weather, its all good. Just make sure you folks from the equator are wearin 3 shirts and 2 full pants on a warm day to avoid hypothermia. Nah jus kidding, you need 4 each.
The temperature here, or rather the lack of, is made up for by the people though. Apart from the heat generated under the covers on a warm alcohol drenched night, the warmth of the general population even during the day is refreshing after the cold shoulders you get every single day at SBS bus in ye olde Singapore. Case in point, i talked to more people during Orientation WEEK than i had in 6 yrs of school in SG. And i got more proper friends after a month here than after 2 yrs at VJC. Whether thats my own fault or not shall be debated here.
But orientation was awesome. On hindsight the games were pretty retarded but when you got almost no friends at all in a country 11000 miles from home, they seem more fun than 2 trips to Disneyland. Okay, bad example but whatever. They were fun.
But the funs gotta end someday and here i am smack in the middle of work (which im not doing cuz im writing this right now, yes i DO understand self-reference) and exams and lectures. Now that the teachers dont give a crap whether ppl sleep i try to my best, to little success, to keep myself awake.
On my penultimate note, some of the smartasses here are seriously freakin me out with their effortless 95+++s and their 2-3 page long SUMMARISED resumes. But whatever, im not gonna take shit from anyone. I just need to find my placing and ill be up there with the elites. And on a final note, i miss my parents a lot. My mom more. Never in my life thought id feel this way. Damn i wish touchable holograms had been invented. Its just not the same knowing shes not making my meals, telling me to study and not screw around, looking out for me etc etc. What makes it worse is that she prolly feels the same way too. Ah well, gotta hang in there for.... 7 months. No problem, its in the bag. Lets see if i can update before that.
SO where do i start. Ill start with something as mundane as the weather. Apart from the fact that the temperature fluctuates by an average of 25C every single day, at least, and apart from the fact that wind chill instantaneously drops the temp by a further 10C, and apart from the fact you reeeally dont wanna get caught in the rain in this weather, its all good. Just make sure you folks from the equator are wearin 3 shirts and 2 full pants on a warm day to avoid hypothermia. Nah jus kidding, you need 4 each.
The temperature here, or rather the lack of, is made up for by the people though. Apart from the heat generated under the covers on a warm alcohol drenched night, the warmth of the general population even during the day is refreshing after the cold shoulders you get every single day at SBS bus in ye olde Singapore. Case in point, i talked to more people during Orientation WEEK than i had in 6 yrs of school in SG. And i got more proper friends after a month here than after 2 yrs at VJC. Whether thats my own fault or not shall be debated here.
But orientation was awesome. On hindsight the games were pretty retarded but when you got almost no friends at all in a country 11000 miles from home, they seem more fun than 2 trips to Disneyland. Okay, bad example but whatever. They were fun.
But the funs gotta end someday and here i am smack in the middle of work (which im not doing cuz im writing this right now, yes i DO understand self-reference) and exams and lectures. Now that the teachers dont give a crap whether ppl sleep i try to my best, to little success, to keep myself awake.
On my penultimate note, some of the smartasses here are seriously freakin me out with their effortless 95+++s and their 2-3 page long SUMMARISED resumes. But whatever, im not gonna take shit from anyone. I just need to find my placing and ill be up there with the elites. And on a final note, i miss my parents a lot. My mom more. Never in my life thought id feel this way. Damn i wish touchable holograms had been invented. Its just not the same knowing shes not making my meals, telling me to study and not screw around, looking out for me etc etc. What makes it worse is that she prolly feels the same way too. Ah well, gotta hang in there for.... 7 months. No problem, its in the bag. Lets see if i can update before that.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
The evil within
While springcleaning I found an article I wrote many years ago and thought I'd save it here for future reference. Considering how young and stupid I was way back then, I'd say its pretty good.
"Werewolves, vampires, witches etc. do not exist in reality but exist as a horrible concept: that the deeper darker side of ourselves, our id, can and will eventually take over and bring us down to the level of beasts. This is a subconscious feeling, so we are not aware of anything more than a feeling of impending doom while watching horror movies. Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde is an example of how all of us badly want to shed our shackles of dignity and become free to do as we wish. Interestingly the concept of one becoming a werewolf or vampire for eternity after being bitten spawned from the contagiousness of losing control and never gaining it back.
Isnt it strange, therefore, that society as a whole would shun all who lose control - misfits, "vampires", and "werewolves" - when all of us are guilty of an underlying desire for chaos? Perhaps we wish to extract our id from ourselevs and pin it wholly on misfits. We hate to think that we ourselves are to blame for social evils, so we blame Hitler, Dracula, Satan and the like.
And yet, after these evil epitomes are purged from society, evil still lurks in the minds of every single individual in society. The desire to break away from society and fend for oneself at the expense of society remains. Perhaps that explains why, at the end of every horrow movie, after the monster or "source of evil" has been killed, a gnawing feeling remains that perhaps, the evil has not left after all."
Friday, August 25, 2006
Morphology with biology
Just had a funny realization. I always wondered what was UP with pet animals, animal rights and their activitists. I mean, its just not Nature's way for animals to look out for other species. And its even more wierd when these fellas start getting all huffy about certain types of rhinos or monkeys or manatees in isolated parts of the world becoming extinct while at the same time, rats, mosquitoes, cockroaches etc are massacred by the billions. Why the double-standards? Or in this case, septuple-standards? If we ARE superior to all other living creatures then so be it. Yeah yeah, we've all heard the our-ecosystem-will-be-affected routine, though its kinda hard for me to understand how the loss of some pandas in the jungles of central Asia will affect me more than the gleeful slaughter of cockroaches in my apartment. Not that i'm complaining.
Somewhere deep in my subconscious its been drilled in by didactic primary school teachers that "Human beings must protect the environment and animals around them." but it never occurred to me then the sheeer hypocricy of hearing this rattled out inside a concrete rainforest. And then teachers would show pictures of cute furry things on the brink of erasure to tug our heart strings, while outside there'd be fogging going on. It just didn make sense.
And THEN it hit me. 15 minutes ago. Anthropomorphism. It's all about anthropomorphism. Innately humans dont really care about other species. I mean come on, who're we kidding? But when we start to see human-like characteristics in animals, particularly dogs or cats or dolphins, we feel some kind of camaraderie. No other reason why theyre common pets. Those wierdos who keep anacondas, armadillos or three-toed sloths as pets only do so coz they can see human qualities in them, albeit qualities not immediately apparent to the next man. And for this same reason, the SPCA does not look after reptiles, insects or sewer rats as no one in their right mind could discern human qualities in them. Possibly because of their ridiculous breeding cycle.
The biggest joke about all of this is that this is all based on perceptions. Too many are oblivious to the obvious; animals do not, by defintion, have human qualities. We just like to look for em. All you need is one single video of a chimpanzee mauling an innocent (human) kid and no one would notice within days that theyre off the food chain. Anyone up for Jaws, anyone?
Somewhere deep in my subconscious its been drilled in by didactic primary school teachers that "Human beings must protect the environment and animals around them." but it never occurred to me then the sheeer hypocricy of hearing this rattled out inside a concrete rainforest. And then teachers would show pictures of cute furry things on the brink of erasure to tug our heart strings, while outside there'd be fogging going on. It just didn make sense.
And THEN it hit me. 15 minutes ago. Anthropomorphism. It's all about anthropomorphism. Innately humans dont really care about other species. I mean come on, who're we kidding? But when we start to see human-like characteristics in animals, particularly dogs or cats or dolphins, we feel some kind of camaraderie. No other reason why theyre common pets. Those wierdos who keep anacondas, armadillos or three-toed sloths as pets only do so coz they can see human qualities in them, albeit qualities not immediately apparent to the next man. And for this same reason, the SPCA does not look after reptiles, insects or sewer rats as no one in their right mind could discern human qualities in them. Possibly because of their ridiculous breeding cycle.
The biggest joke about all of this is that this is all based on perceptions. Too many are oblivious to the obvious; animals do not, by defintion, have human qualities. We just like to look for em. All you need is one single video of a chimpanzee mauling an innocent (human) kid and no one would notice within days that theyre off the food chain. Anyone up for Jaws, anyone?
Friday, August 18, 2006
A Mathematical Romance
I found this somewhere, thought it was pretty creative and funny.
They both originated at (0,0) and from then on, they integrated up to infinity. Her curves were continuously varying, and even though he was odd, he was the real function. The day their lines first intersected, they became an ordered pair. She was his f(x), he was her g(x), and henceforth, fg became a valid function for all real x. They were both in their prime, so in next to no time their lines became horizontal and parallel. Soon they became coincident. She was awed by the magnitude of the normal to his plane, and he was amazed by the integrated volume of her conical projections. "Bisect my angle!" she postulated each time she reached her local maximum. He taught her the chain rule as she implicitly defined the amplitude and, more importantly, the frequency of his simple harmonic motion. The forced oscillations made them undergo multiple rotations about their axes, while arbitrarily heading them towards their collective asymptote, until at last they reached the vertex, the critical point, their finite limit. After that they slept like logarithms.
But before the next period of this cyclic event could begin, he realized she was too complex to handle while he seemed plain irrational to her. Later she found him taking a right-handed limit, that was a problem, because it was an improper form. He meanwhile had decided that she was square. He gave her the slip below the x axis while simultaneously, she approached her ex, and so they became divergent.
They both originated at (0,0) and from then on, they integrated up to infinity. Her curves were continuously varying, and even though he was odd, he was the real function. The day their lines first intersected, they became an ordered pair. She was his f(x), he was her g(x), and henceforth, fg became a valid function for all real x. They were both in their prime, so in next to no time their lines became horizontal and parallel. Soon they became coincident. She was awed by the magnitude of the normal to his plane, and he was amazed by the integrated volume of her conical projections. "Bisect my angle!" she postulated each time she reached her local maximum. He taught her the chain rule as she implicitly defined the amplitude and, more importantly, the frequency of his simple harmonic motion. The forced oscillations made them undergo multiple rotations about their axes, while arbitrarily heading them towards their collective asymptote, until at last they reached the vertex, the critical point, their finite limit. After that they slept like logarithms.
But before the next period of this cyclic event could begin, he realized she was too complex to handle while he seemed plain irrational to her. Later she found him taking a right-handed limit, that was a problem, because it was an improper form. He meanwhile had decided that she was square. He gave her the slip below the x axis while simultaneously, she approached her ex, and so they became divergent.
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